Felt bad…

It just happened that I sent a text to one of my closest friends that I got my passport. Not that it was a special message; it was general message in conversation. I got no reply. Today, I spoke to that friend and told him again that I finally got my passport. He (lets just assume ‘he’, though it may not be true, I want to be discreet about it) snapped me saying, “I know but big deal, mujhe to koi aisi khaas khushi nahi ho rahi yeh jaan ke. While reading your message also, it came to my mind, what should I do….yeah, so what should I do”. I was kind of speechless. I was definitely not expecting this kind of a reply. I mean AM I ASKING YOU TO DO ANYTHING?? 

 

I also know, what is so big about it? Passport?? Well, everyone can get a passport. Its not that I got into PRINCETON or HARVARD, its just a passport. I any case had to get it sometime. But then for me, its a small step towards my dream. It marks a beginning. It makes me realize that I am moving ahead, there is some progress. Talking about how does it matter? Or what should one do?? Well, nothing. Nobody needs to do anything. I have got my passport, I will get my college acceptance letter, then visa, then tickets and finally I will go. Then I will study, upon completion of my course, I will look for projects, assignments, (JOB to be simple). Nobody has to do anything for me to do all these things. And I don’t need to share any of my progress with anyone. I have even lost the whole purpose of why am I writing this?

 

What is the whole point of being friends when your friends have to snap you that SO?? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? DANCE?? Instead of sharing that little joy. Its just that when we achieve something, let it be something really small, petty, silly, we like sharing it with our best friends. That hooting “ooooohhhhhh…….kya baat hai!!” or “Cool man!” is all that we expect. If we see it technically then nobody has anything to do with anyone. We all can peacefully live independently without sharing any bit of our lives, thoughts, experiences. But that is not how humans live. Humans have this gift of expression, of sharing, of celebrating.

 

I didn’t know what to say. I went silent over the phone. He asked me, “Hey what happened?? Why did you suddenly go serious and all?” but I didn’t have any answer. I lost the whole point of conversation. Luckily some work came up right at that moment and I got an escape from the phone call. But it was going on in my head all throughout this evening. I finally couldn’t stop myself from writing about it. I wanted to vent it somewhere. It’s that I love that friend of mine ALOT!! And this thing is not really going to change anything, its not going to affect anything. But I needed to share it.

8 thoughts on “Felt bad…

  1. HMMMMMMM………its ok buddy,you have me if ever you want to share something i may not dance with joy, but i’ll promise to smile, i may not act excited but i promise that i’ll be as happy for you as you are for yourself, i may not be your bestest friend ever, but i’ll promise i’ll make sure whatever little friendship we’ve developed it’ll be enough for you and me both.
    Take care and keep it simple, life isint about making big plans and then thinking you’ve reached at some height, its about taking small steps and being content you are living each moment along with it.
    Cheers!

  2. You know…big thoughts, big plans keep me going but small achievements, small celebrations keep me alive…they are both equally important for me. Nevertheless, I really appreciate your concern and I am really thankful to you for your support. It means a lot to me. 🙂 Thanks again. Take care.

  3. how come you’re not online anymore?

    and how come you don’t share all these feelings with us/me anymore?

    Anyway..I hope everything works out with you.

    Take care.

  4. Hmmm, true.

    what maybe important or happiness for us might not appeal to someone else…

    we have to let go.

    we can’t stop being happy if others don’t feel the same…

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