UPSRTC sucks!!

I woke my whole family up in the morning at 6. I got ready and reached the bus stand on time.

However, something didn’t seem usual. There was no sign of a Volvo to Varanasi. One was marked for Allahabad which ideally should have departed at 7. Further inquiry revealed a devastating scenario that instantly ripped off all my happiness.

THE BUS SERVICE WAS ON A STRIKE! Mind it. Specifically the Volvo service to Varanasi and Allahabad.

Reason? SOMEBODY had abused the driver in the morning. Anurag are you reading this one? I tried my best but could neither find the abused or the abuser. I wanted to see them if not anything else. How amazing is that? Cancel a bus service because of an abuse. Of what I know of bus staff, they just love to remind each other of the immense love of their sisters and mothers at every instant, required or not. Wonder what kind of an abuse actually managed to upset that dude? And no son of their mother from the UPSRTC department had the guts to come and solve dam’n problem. I left the bus stand by 9 realizing nothing good is coming my way.

Bottom line – My shoot plans never saw the daylight. I am sitting at home now writing this blog. Will look for a similar setting to carry out my shoot in Lucknow somewhere.

Haldi!

This one is a short one but KILLER!!
Hunger had finally crossed all limits. I and Akshat looked at each other. I could see the poor kid starving. I decided I would cook some dal fry and rice for both of us. Delighted by the plan, he offered me company while I prepared our dinner. Engrossed in conversation, I washed the dal, put it in pressure cooker, poured water and opened the masala dubba for haldi (turmeric) when out of nowhere I heard a scream
“Naaaaaahhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” he sprang towards me.
I was shocked. I just stopped saving myself from spilling all the haldi. As it is, it wasn’t enough and I knew there was no point in buying more since we were leaving for vacations that night.
“Aap dal mein haldi kyon daal rahe ho? Chhhiiiiiiii!! Haldi ka taste kitna bura hota hai! Imagine puri dal haldi ki tarah taste karegi! Kya bhaiya? Koi dal mein haldi daalta hai kya? Maana ki aap khana banaate ho aur experiments bhi karte ho but yeh kuch zyada ho gaya. Please haldi valdi mat daalo. I want my dal just like the usual yellow dal!”
Ok! Apart from being totally taken aback and spellbound, I was outraged at the dramatization of the whole point.
Controlling my emotions (yes, a plethora of them were boiling inside me at this point) I humbly asked “Tumhe kya lagta hai ki tumhari ‘usual’ dal YELLOW kaise hoti hai?”
“Arey dal to yellow hoti hi hai, usme kya hai. Haldi thode na daalni padti hai…kya bhaiya?” pat came his reply looking superbly confident and offended by my question.
Well, I had the following options at my bay at that moment to deal with the situation –
1. (The most obvious one) Use an appropriate tool like the lid of the cooker, frying pan or even the long serving spoon for that matter and give one tight CLANK! Issue resolved!
2. Cook food only for myself, and keep him starving while I ate in front of him.
3. Cook exactly as he suggested. (Since I had to eat as well, I decided against this one).
4. Throw him out of the house! (Yeh thoda zyada ho jata, I agree).
5. Ignore him and continue cooking for the greater common good (however, this wasn’t so easy).
I asked him to immediately call his mother and talk.
“Mummy…achha ek baat batao, kahin dal mein haldi padti hai?…..kya?…achha!…oh..ok…nahi..kuch nahi hua….”
I snatched the phone from him.
“Aunty yeh kitne saal ka hai?”
“19! kyon?”
“Abhi tak yeh kya khata tha? ” (Felt like adding ‘doodh roti?’ but didn’t mean to be rude)
“Arey beta kuch nahi aata use, tum hi sikha do kuch!”
I disconnected the call and gave him the phone. Quietly he left the kitchen. I must add here, Akshat looked so innocent and cute that my anger just went puff! I love you my bro! It happens don’t worry!
To everyone who has been gobbling food ignoring what is in that food, please wake up!

Yes! I did it again!

Read this before reading the following post (if you have not already read it).

It was some day in August 2008. I was working in AnimationXpress as Design Head for their upcoming event AFF. Chaitra, Vidhi and I decided to go to Pop Tates for dinner after a really hectic day. Reaching there, we found a queue waiting and we were no. 6 or something. We were asked to wait for 15 mins. I and Chaitra resumed our conversation (we were in some very animated discussion, can’t remember the subject as of now) while Vidhi moved away to buy a fag. Right next to where we were standing was a chaat vendor surrounded by a gang of ladies loudly chattering while crunching pani puri. I always loved pani puri you see.

After something like 5mins or so I turned to find Vidhi gulping down pani puri. While talking to Chaitra I swiftly moved towards her and grabbed the puri she was about to gobble.

Akele akele kha rahi hai motu? (Having it all alone, fato!)” I said opening my mouth wide.

 Just as the superbly awesome crunchy mouth watering pani puri was halfway through my mouth I noticed a lady staring at me with immense disgust and hatred. Her eyes told me she was hitting me left right and center in her mind at that moment. A punch on the right cheek, one in the eye, one in the tummy, elbow on my back and that one final kick. BAM!

Next came the sudden hard hitting realization. THAT WAS NOT VIDHI! I saw Vidhi right behind that lady, at a distance, smoking and looking at me with Don’t-tell-me-you-did-that look.

I froze! Time had just stopped. The chatter faded. Everybody was quiet, fully concentrating on what just happened. I wasn’t able to decide if I should eat it or put it back at her plate. To my horror, I saw Chaitra on my left witnessing what just happened.

Itna hi mann tha pani puri khaane ka to mujhe bol deta, main khila deti, logon ki plate se mat chheen Himanshu”  she barked (yes! Bitch was what came to my mind at that moment!). Exactly what I was looking for, support of a friend. I could feel the blood circulation on my face. It was getting hot.

The lady smiled realizing what just happened and said “Eat it. Its ok. It happens.” I still didn’t gulp it. Was holding right there halfway in my mouth. “Arey kha lo, koi baat nahi, I will take another one” she insisted. I pushed that pani puri inside my mouth with all my strength (Trust me, it took a lot of it) and then I chewed and chewed. It was not tasting how it should. Referring to an episode of FRIENDS,  like Phoebe’s shoes, every crunch was sounding in my ears “Not mine Not mine” and if I would try to chew faster I would hear “Not not mine not not mine”. I swallowed!

I apologized to her. Smiling even more widely she said, “Its perfectly alright. It happens. Don’t worry, carry on”. I offered to pay but she completely refused.

“Guys, you can come in!” called the restaurant guy. I could have kissed him! I so needed that escape.  Embarrassed like never before I began walking towards the restaurant. I could hear giggles, laughs and comments from my back. No way I had done that to my self!

Vidhi and Chaitra had transformed into dementors sucking on to this dark incident and rubbing it in again and again. They had just swallowed all the happiness, hope and light from me. Everyone in that restaurant who laughed, I thought was just told about that incident by the waiter. Even the order looked like it wasn’t what I had ordered.

Kha le Himanshu, yeh tera hi hai!” giggled Chaitra and Vidhi raising a toast to yet another milestone in idiocy just erected by me.

For the rest of the evening, I couldn’t help but think of that incident again and again. I hated Vidhi for wearing that Black top of hers and tying her hair in her typical high jooda style. That was what had confused me since that lady was like the body double of Vidhi planted to fool me. It took me days to completely overcome this one.

Even though its been quite long now, the memories are still as fresh in my mind as the smell of pani puri.

Mom’s are amazing…

I am writing after a long time. Been wanting to write so many things all this while but never got the time to do so. However, today I decided I must write.

I am a student of communication. Still studying Film Production which is indeed, a very sensitive form of mass communication. However, today even I failed to sort out a very small task which otherwise could’ve been done very smoothly. 
I got to know that Sankalp, my tiny 50gms bro is coming back from Lucknow. Overwhelmed by ideas of what all I can ask him to get from my home, I decided to get my black jacket (more of an over coat) and a half sleeve plain white t-shirt which I had forgotten to get with me this time. Mom happily agreed to send the items. Sankalp met my dad at a mid point and took the packet. On his way back home, my dad called me and demanded an explanation for asking for pointless clothes. I was utterly confused as why would a jacket be pointless in winters. But what he told me really made me realize the whole exercise has indeed become pointless. 
I asked my mom to give my black jacket (for all my readers, I have only one jacket in my entire house which is Black). She however decided to work this whole situation out of her gut feelings. She packed the following items and sent them across :
1. Black COAT – which apart from being out of fashion is so big for me now (losing kg of weight has its disadvantages). I had intentionally left it at home.
2. A half suede jacket – Me and my dad have identical jackets of this kind. This time, while coming from home, I picked dad’s jacket which fits me better than mine (read 1. for the reason of this). Now I will have two of same jackets out of which one I can’t wear.
3. A green jacket- which I had left at home because of its damaged inner lining. However, she failed to see the tear. It being over sized is not so much of problem as of now.
4. Two full sleeve t-shirts – which I never mentioned in the phone call. God knows what is coming my way now.
5. A pack of chikki and gajak – highly appreciated items but again not a part of the brief. 
As for why that undisputed black jacket never made its way to the packet, the reason is plain and simple – “I thought it’s dad’s jacket, why would you wear it?”. This took me to a flashback
Dad – “Son, you keep this jacket!”
Me – “But dad, its your favourite jacket? Why are you giving it to me?”
Dad – “I travel in air-conditioned car. I don’t need it. You have to travel outdoors, go on shoots in winters. It makes more sense for you. It one of the best jackets that can protect you in worst of colds.”
Me – ” Thank you so much dad!”
Now, to think of it, Mom was nowhere around when I and dad were exchanging these emotions. Can’t blame her now.
So, a poor chap is carrying a packet for me all the way from Lucknow not realizing that most of it is not of much use. 
Important point to note here is my dad called me and scolded me for asking for such useless clothes on his WAY BACK after delivering the packet to Sankalp. Interesting to think is, he knew the packet is useless before delivering it to Sankalp. He could’ve called and confirmed before giving it away. But dads are dads after all. 🙂
I will, however, not let this go all waste. Will try and get everything altered to fit.
When I got to know all this, it was too late. Upset I began chatting with Shruti. She told me another story. Please read 🙂

mum ne meko bola k unhone mere saare winter cloths naina k ghar rakhwa diye hain
i went all the way to meerut to get ALL my winter cloths from naina’s place

ok

what i get there???
3 jackets…..
nd that is it
3 jackets
2 new
and one old which i wr at home
no sweaters
no inners
nothing

hmmmm
are our mom’s competing by any chance?
if they are…its not a very good game to play with their kids

do i have only 3 jackets 4 warm cloths????
i cant agree more

hahaha
hahahahahaha
welcome to the club

i mean wat am i supposed to wr all winter long???

did u talk to ur mom
?

10:44pm

just 3 jakets
no
im too mad to do that
its soooooo damn cold hr
nd its going to b a lot worse
urrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thus, I thought I can share this with the world. Awaiting Sankalp’s visit to my flat with my packet. 🙂